When I am studying class 11 one of my teachers asked "What is your ambition?" in front of everybody in the class. My prompt reply was "To direct a movie in hollywood ro atleast a movie from India which will equally compete with hollywood". I remember everyone at the class laughed as if thinking that I am not going to make it at all. A clear boost up for my ambition was my uncle's video library which had more than 3000 movie collection. I used to watch lot of movies then and there. The trendsetter movie "Jurassic Park" inspired me a lot. I dreamt of making some trendsetter like that.
My various attempts to attain that goal in various timelines:
- As I didn't had any background with movie making, I used to buy movie making books with my pocket money and read myself to learn what is exactly movie making.
- During my +2 vacation days, I shot a small documentary with my uncle's camera and edited it with what I had(Linear Editing methods) and added some bg loops without even knowing what it is exactly.
- Started self learning animation with a craze to make something like a dinosaur in the movie Jurassic Park with my uncle's computer. Autodesk Animator Pro and 3D Studio for Dos 4.0 was my platforms.
- With the same craze I joined an animation training institute during my college days, thinking this parallel field will help me attain my goal.
- Been crazy at discovery channel I imitated "Eyewitness" program and made my institutional project "Know Yourself" series and it is about Dinosaurs.
- My first design presentation in Powerpoint with animations was in 1999 with company name tag labelled "Cybermedia Creations"
- Started a small group with my friends in the year 2000 renaming Cybermedia into "Virtual Reality" attracted to Virtual Reality Technologies developed then and there.
- Started doing graphic designing with that group and 3DSMAX animations for TV media.
- The group actually broke out after one and a half year because of financial misunderstandings and lack of finance. Actually the business was not planned properly.
- Having the power of persistence I started doing video advertisements as a solo freelancer and in free times developing my stories for my movies.
- In 2004 I started a post production studio with the name "Virtual Reality Media Group" with some workers hoping it would lead to my ambition as it would help develop my influence with industrial members.
- This time the infra structure was good but it was not planned properly. So I had to close it after two years of struggle. Financially I was down.
- I started doing freelance works this time with a determination in my next attempt I should not fail. Everybody started condemning my act of persistence and stressed me finding a good job.
- Two years after my freelancing career ie., 2006 to 2008, in the end of the year 2009 I got a job as a Lecturer for B.Sc Animation Students in a reputed college in Kerala. I felt this would be easy for me and I will get time to plan my next steps.
- After a year I felt I could take some of my students itself for work in my next attempt. Three years of my door knocking for Fund Raising finally helped when I said I have a creative team with me.
- After many meetings and tele-conferences for fund raising and investment Finally I made it to start the company "Perspect-V Media Ventures"
- After my trial hard to make the team members work hard with the change in their attitude, I started producing the India's first Open Movie - Angelo.
- This time everything was planned and was in papers, but again I had to close the company because of the silly actions and betraying actions of my fellow team members and my students who got our web accounts hacked so on and so on by implementing a trojan on our company computers and sneaking the confidential datas (Not everyone but of two or three insiders) which an intelligent investigation team later discovered.
- This time the Financial Loss was huge which left me in mental depression and after a year almost of medication and hospitalisation, with my slow recovery once again planning to take steps to release the movie "Angelo" at any cost despite of any difficulties and crticisms.
....Story goes on. Everybody felt that I didn't had a good profile working in any big companies. My fellow co-workers made them believe. Even I heard one faculty having no connection with me tried to inform my team members to look for some other job somewhere breaking the reputation. If all talented people have to work on Big Corporate Companies means we would not be having real innovators like Steve Jobs of Apple, Narayanamoorthy of Infosys etc., This is my profile. I had and I am having the confidence that no one else can compete with my knowledge. All of my failures happened because there was no one to help me or mentor me or support me. Instead there were hundreds to put me down. The saddest part is even the people I have selected never understood me. But regardless of all these things I am still trying to find an opportunity to expose myself to realise my ambition and this time with no hope of money.
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