Money is Something..but not everything

I often get surprised at people who fly for money making. Of course 95% of human are behind the printed paper. As one of my friend said those are the visiting cards of our identity. Strange truth. But at one point which I cannot agree is a person who is good at money making or wealth creation is only a successful person. Money is not a measuring gauge for a person's success. Often this world gets mixed up with wealth creation and success. The educational institutions teach that. The aim of educational process becomes money making. That's why we have in our world something called career oriented courses or professional courses.

My simple logical question is how many are truly successful in all their professional, personal and social attributes. Hands up please. Sometimes I have to pity all because there will be only few.

Bollywood Glam Queen(once) Manisha Koirala would be the current best example to explain this.(many more are there) Recent news about her family break up, addiction to alcohol, drugs etc., losing her physique etc., tells us Wealth alone is not a person's success, Not also a person's Glam and Fame. They can be key factors but not everything.

I know my co-workers who earned tens of thousands of bucks in their profession but still had personal problems. I know a tenant who lived downside my house who was a chartered accountant, who earned in sic figures in a month, had his son in asylum because that boys mental growth is not even for age 5 when he is reaching 17.

For Every End there will be a Beginning

Fasting continued for thirty days. I made it successful. Because I implemented the Ideas what I got from the cosmos. It is all about the passion what I had. It is all about what Eternal Father wanted to tell through me. A centre for those who fail and still want to succeed. Failures are only success delayed. Failures to whatever extent. Life always have new beginnings. The world have lots of things to explore. My duty in this world is not yet over. So I started this. After naming a series of blah-blah, I got a name from my experience itself.

Alpha at Omega. A Beginning in an Ending. Thought this would do. Now only thing I wanted is to have a place to implement it. I started a website too.

To along with my passion. Because What I needed were not a mere 1 out of 45. But many seekers from this whole world. I begin with my experiences of life itself. Take time to visit Alpha at Omega Website.

Rendezvous with the Supremo

Years long of suffering and longing to be someone, a famous someone in this world. A Game of Fame with all required health and wealth. Neither reached the destination nor pulled back. It was in this condition my health broke up a year back. Days and Months of hospitalization never let me down. Series of seizures, motionless paralyzed left side for months, intolerable pain, high level mental depression all these symptoms which are there yet didn't made me feel lowered. As a human I must suffer pain but what I wanted to know is the cause. Even in my deep depression I was in an inner search to find the answer "Why this happened? What wrong I did?" These are but two questions from many that arouse from me. I used my days to put those interrogations to the almighty himself. Sometimes subliminal answers which mostly I will forget. Though hundreds of questions were put forth the peak points of my rendezvous with the supremo goes on like this.

Me: Why my Father this condition to me? Is it because I have sinned?

God: What do you name as sin my son? I have given the word to you. The Cosmic Laws. It is the law of Cause and Effect. Whatever you suffer happiness or sorrow is the effect of what you have done. Your infirmities led and yet lead to your trouble. When your analysis of anything under the sky becomes wrong and when you do something which don't suit them, in turn you suffer. Though it may be whatever level of good you have done. This applies to you too. If you accept something which you can't then it causes pain for the others who did good to you. In life there are mostly blunders only which can be rectified by realization. When one does the same blunder even after realization then it is called the actual sin. Do you mind doing the same after realization?

Me: No. I won't. Father but almost every individual I met in my life have cheated me in one or other way. Does it mean I am not fit to live?

Completed Successfully My 25 days of Fasting

Somebody called it madness. Somebody feels I am a lunatic. But only thing I remembered is when my psychiatrist questioned me "If you cannot tolerate hunger over single time, then how come you say you are going to achieve greater things". It was the comment he made when I shouted madly for not treating at proper time where I have to avoid food for almost a day. I really felt so much hungry that day. But that question remained in my mind. I kept mumbling my questions of my struggle these days, when I really felt bad when my condition become bad enough to receive ECTs(Electro Convulsive Therapy) to relieve back from my depression. My running questions in my mind those days were;

1. Is that all for what I have not done?


2. Why I have to suffer all this pain and agony now? What I have done wrong?

What is the real meaning of "Forgetting the Past"?

Whoever visits me or talks to me, as an act of consolation tries to convince me with the words "Forget the Past. Its over. Work out something for the future". Though I am not completely disagreeing with these terms I have something to say. An unpleasant past have to be forgotten for sure. It will do it itself as time passes by. Time is the best medicine for any wound to be healed. Mental or Physical. At the same time if one forgets what caused the whole trauma then likely he is going to face the same kind of situation sooner or later.

In my case it is all about the most unpleasant moments I had with my students whom I taught who lastly betrayed me, took chance to collapse my business, made everything upside down what I have gained so far. It is easy for anybody to play the blame game. Many are not bothered or aware of the sequences. Their

"Emptiness" - Value Added Power

Current Living Vs. Jesus' Teachings

One of my friend was talking to me about where to follow the verses of the Bible or Philosophy and where to omit it. He is a catholic christian. Amidst the conversation he pointed out "I am a christian, but still we have to follow some other strategies when it comes for practical living. What Jesus Christ taught in those days will not always suit PRACTICALLY. They are moslty irrelevant in current living scenario"

I questioned him "Then why do you follow the principles like "must attend the MASS on Sundays", daily family prayer, confessions and sacraments etc., those are irrelevant to the current living scenario too. Is it just for deceiving GOD or Yourself?"

For those who see them as just theoritical teachings it will be just like that. But for those who see them as Living Words, it will be that for them. Without being true to him if we yell "Save us Lord", I hardly suspect he will hear it. Truthfulness must be shown in almost all activities and deeds in everyday life.. That is what he wants from us. How much of us are doing the same?

Before Gossiping or talking about another Person..

Be Practical!! A Single Man cannot make Difference!!

I am greatly used to these words. I heard and still hear it from everybody. Being a single man you cannot make a difference in the society. You cannot correct the world. I don't know how far it is true. This will be mostly from people who have brothers or sisters or sons or daughters. My simple question to them will be "So will you accept the reality that your dear one does the same mistake as others or if they suffer from the suffocation of the same society?" Mostly the answer will be silence.

Yes that is what I feel in my mind. My fellow beings whom we are taught from our school days as brothers and sisters are suffering. This is a nation where a national leader called Mahatma said "I won't wear anything except this dhoti until my brothers get proper clothing", he did it practically too. But even he was condemned by Winston Churchill as "striding half-naked", which is the actual practicality.


If people like Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King etc., have thought what is said above much things would not have happened in this world.


For doing good no one has to be a mahatma. A Little bit of humanity is enough.

What I feel of my fellow humans is they are suffering. Suffering with Innocence. Suffering with Ignorance. They are lured towards Lust and Luxury. They are brainwashed and preyed upon. A music concert ticket is sold for even 10,000 rupees. But a poor man needs only 10% of it as a whole for his expense in a month. Our country of culture is destroyed brick by brick calling themselves as modern generation. Because of these able minded people being deviated the real poor and needy people are put to stake again.


When a man is dying without food, these so called able economically upward people enjoy pleasure in discotheque clubs and pubs. There is no proper guidance. Corporates earn lakhs of crores through them and finally nothing saved for humanity. Sex and Violence is induced through entertainment channels and movies.


Shamelessly a Commercial Condom Advertisement gains more publicity than an advertisement for a social cause with the same message. A beverage sales gains more attention than the typical LOKPAL message.


Many would not have known what is lok-pal if there was no one like Anna Hazare. He is a single man. This question will be resolved only if everyone feels that he is part of the society and have equal hands in building it. If there is no one common man to buy film tickets or not even one common end user to buy software where do these rich corporate and entertainment demons will go for money? Where do the people who are thinking I do whatever I like with my money I earned will go? Aren't they blood sucking vampires if they don't care for the actual needy one.


If this thought is cultivated in each and every individual mind then that is the difference.

Teachings which cursed me

Often our Educational system with plenty of flaws always fail to make a human. It teaches either technology or science which alone would not make a bound personality. I always have in mind a Chinese proverb

When I was an animation technology  lecturer my thoughts were to teach fishing to my students in the ocean of life with what I learnt so far. I know teaching technology alone will not make human. It is the educational system which has to impart the right knowledge to them. So was my lectures. But I received a common comment by my students "He talks all rubbish for long hours". The hour long talk with any human being will be for this. My search of at least one human to impart the knowledge which God has gifted to me is not yet over. Often I use to think these thoughts I cultivated myself in my mind being the lessons and experiences in my own life are rather preachings and teachings of big leaders. When I understood this I was so happy. When I felt there are some young fresh minds I wanted to cultivate it in their minds too. I never wanted them to loose their worldly life. Even I am not away from worldly life. But it is the manifestation of "How to Live Properly" which is being mis-conceived by them.

They all have ignored these following points I discussed. Any wrong in what I discussed? or it is the fault of the educational institution or the whole system or society!! Somebody Enlighten Me!!

An Implemented Value Education Class or a Paper was easily ignored by the college and the students which often made me to think we could not believe in these institutions for Character Formation.

Motivation or Demotivation?

My very first day in my college as a lecturer was quite impressive even to me as it was a day to practice my theories on those little booming young minds (or at least I thought so). I was happy to have people whom I liked in front of me whom I thought would be the samples for the upcoming generation. I got it right when my first motivational speech have impressed many to form their lines in the career.

I always believed there are no actual learners or actual professionals in this world. But it lies with people who act smart with it. I even had a co-worker with me who knows a least but acted smart to earn more than me. Being a practical trainer it is this smartness I wanted to pull out from each of my student. That was why I called them "I don't see any learners here but only professionals". There was thousands of meanings in those words. It was a clear act of motivation pulling out the soul of action right from their deep minds. I felt it worked out.

But the first six months were not so surprising as I was not so aware of some dark sides of the student psychology. I am the person who admits always every person in him is always unique in any of one attribute. So I always treat people according to their aspects. I think I cultivated a meritorious understanding between myself and them. But when months passed by I started understanding there is a poison spill a midst their minds which is going to ruin out everything. The spill which made them stay away from me and to talk that I am away from the. But in last everything happened as they liked it.

On the eve of my every birthday at 11.30PM  I always write something about my past one year. In the birthday eve of 2009, I wrote it like this "I am very happy to have this current coming year as I have the young people in front of me as I expected. I always liked to make a change in this world. I am sure this time I would make it"

It was my years long dream to have some fellow people in a right action plan.

But after my birthday everything turned out in a different way.  I remember my words on the birthday which quoted "Everything Changes in the world except the word Change. We must be prepared for any change"

My act of teaching what I felt as good to the society, to the current young minds triggered out a change in my students. They started turning against me. I know youngsters hate morals. But is it not keeping a Man in good shape. Because I lived like that. I won't say I am not having flaws. But I always try to rectify it. I taught them what I suffered in my life and what they should not get.

I also remember a student pointing out "Lead Kindly Alight, amidst the encircling gloom" Is it not the act I done for those people. I understood what is the reason for their gloom and tried to alight them with true world knowledge. When I pointed out their mistakes, When I pointed out their fall backs, When I pointed out how a model youngster has to be, they called me demotivating with the same tongue which called me the motivator.


What was my fault actually? 


I just expected them to be examples to the next generation. Would not that be a history than becoming a technology professional, being one among thousands and die insane? 


Any Silly Idiot who calls himself a professional can teach or demonstrate technology. Is that the motivation for every youngster? But something which I taught for development of self and society along with technology could never or ever be from everybody's mouth which becomes de-motivation.


Still Trying to Distinguish.

A Long Time Dream which is a Dream Yet

When I am studying class 11 one of my teachers asked "What is your ambition?" in front of everybody in the class. My prompt reply was "To direct a movie in hollywood ro atleast a movie from India which will equally compete with hollywood". I remember everyone at the class laughed as if thinking that I am not going to make it at all. A clear boost up for my ambition was my uncle's video library which had more than 3000 movie collection. I used to watch lot of movies then and there. The trendsetter movie "Jurassic Park" inspired me a lot. I dreamt of making some trendsetter like that.

My various attempts to attain that goal in various timelines:

1. As I didn't had any background with movie making, I used to buy movie making books with my pocket money and read myself to learn what is exactly movie making.


2. During my +2 vacation days, I shot a small documentary with my uncle's camera and edited it with what I had(Linear Editing methods) and added some bg loops without even knowing what it is exactly.


3. Started self learning animation with a craze to make something like a dinosaur in the movie Jurassic Park with my uncle's computer. Autodesk Animator Pro and 3D Studio for Dos 4.0 was my platforms.


4. With the same craze I joined an animation training institute during my college days, thinking this parallel field will help me attain my goal.


5. Been crazy at discovery channel I imitated "Eyewitness" program and made my institutional project "Know Yourself" series and it is about Dinosaurs.


6. My first design presentation in Powerpoint with animations was in 1999 with company name tag labelled "Cybermedia Creations"


7. Started a small group with my friends in the year 2000 renaming Cybermedia into "Virtual Reality" attracted to Virtual Reality Technologies developed then and there.


8. Started doing graphic designing with that group and 3DSMAX animations for TV media.


9. The group actually broke out after one and a half year because of financial misunderstandings and lack of finance. Actually the business was not planned properly.


10. Having the power of persistence I started doing video advertisements as a solo freelancer and in free times developing my stories for my movies.


11. In 2004 I started a post production studio with the name "Virtual Reality Media Group" with some workers hoping it would lead to my ambition as it would help develop my influence with industrial members.


12. This time the infra structure was good but it was not planned properly. So I had to close it after two years of struggle. Financially I was down.


13. I started doing freelance works this time with a determination in my next attempt I should not fail. Everybody started condemning my act of persistence and stressed me finding a good job.


14. Two years after my freelancing career ie., 2006 to 2008, in the end of the year 2009 I got a job as a Lecturer for B.Sc Animation Students in a reputed college in Kerala. I felt this would be easy for me and I will get time to plan my next steps.


15. After a year I felt I could take some of my students itself for work in my next attempt. Three years of my door knocking for Fund Raising finally helped when I said I have a creative team with me.


16. After many meetings and tele-conferences for fund raising and investment Finally I made it to start the company "Perspect-V Media Ventures"


17. After my trial hard to make the team members work hard with the change in their attitude, I started producing the India's first Open Movie - Angelo.


18. This time everything was planned and was in papers, but again I had to close the company because of the silly actions and betraying actions of my fellow team members and my students who got our web accounts hacked so on and so on by implementing a trojan on our company computers and sneaking the confidential datas (Not everyone but of two or three insiders) which an intelligent investigation team later discovered.


19. This time the Financial Loss was huge which left me in mental depression and after a year almost of medication and hospitalisation, with my slow recovery once again planning to take steps to release the movie "Angelo" at any cost despite of any difficulties and crticisms.

....Story goes on. Everybody felt that I didn't had a good profile working in any big companies. My fellow co-workers made them believe. Even I heard one faculty having no connection with me tried to inform my team members to look for some other job somewhere breaking the reputation. If all talented people have to work on Big Corporate Companies means we would not be having real innovators like Steve Jobs of Apple, Narayanamoorthy of Infosys etc., This is my profile. I had and I am having the confidence that no one else can compete with my knowledge. All of my failures happened because there was no one to help me or mentor me or support me. Instead there were hundreds to put me down. The saddest part is even the people I have selected never understood me. But regardless of all these things I am still trying to find an opportunity to expose myself to realise my ambition and this time with no hope of money.

The Dreams in my Eyes Still Stay Longing!!

For those who want succeed in life but fails to do so even after lots of trials and hurdles, those who feel everything is finished in life, when they loose hope, it will be very irritating to live in front of others. Even I suffered the same situation in my life. Everybody started hating me. Everybody thought that it is waste for me to live even. They felt me a burden. My parents, My relations and even my friends felt a burden on me.. Everybody started spitting on my face. But Really I know this is not going to be forever. I really will win in my life. In one very good evening when a problem same like this happened to me. I almost lost my hope. I thought i will never get up again. i wont succeed in my life. But in another few moments i wrote this

The Dreams in my eyes stay longing,
The Beats in my heart still throbbing,
Millions of minutes passed by
making all my precious moments bid good bye
Never Forever they won't return
Those painful thoughts still prick and burn,
Were they for nothing?
Were those hurdles for nothing? No
Wait 'hmm Something says Still there's hope
To find ways in life to cope
A drop of this will light my life I Believe,
It will make me shine One or other eve
And Yet the dreams in my eyes stay longing..
It will continue still my heart stops throbbing!!

The beauty is  -  the text and the poem above I wrote in the year of 2007(may) in my another blog and five year in the making still I am in my old situation or I am driven back to my old situation by some odds.

I remember a quote 

"Success is not that you wont fall again. But it is rising again with Glory whenever you fall"

Am I Perfect Enough to Teach Morals?

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.  ~Confucius

I remember a day during my college when I was walking aside my campus along with one of my friend when a bus passed by with some students travelling in the footsteps and jumping from it to alight near the college. I commented to my friend

"Why these guys are travelling in footsteps like a hell. Aren't we taught by the society and the government not to travel in footsteps"

My friend replied "It is their age buddy. They want to fill their life with thrills. You cannot say anything to them until you don't practice it"

True were his words and I replied to him "You are right We cannot comment on anything unless or otherwise we are correct in that aspect." I have that as a policy in my life ie., If I am not clear in anything I won't condemn others.

Now recently during my lecturer days I used to teach some morals to the students. Lastly I got accused that I don't have any rights to talk such things. Another fine confrontation is my students liked more of technical teachings rather from the moral aspects teaching.

A clear question was "Who Am I to teach moral aspects? Am I so perfect?" No not really. But usually I have one belief in current days. A person's morality in today's world is not calculated on the basis of whether he is absolutely correct or wrong. But it is based on the percentage level of correctness he have with him. That is what one of the sayings from the China's precious philosopher Confucius informs us.

A diamond may have imperfections but still it have the quality of a diamond but not like the vague round pebble without any grips on it. I may have flaws in my life I might have made errors. No human is perfect. But before pointing that I am wrong once again one have to go through the first two paragraphs.

When the above question points back to me I will easily answer I won't impose my imperfections to you. I am not God and I make blunders too and also learns from it but in the probability and percentage levels of perfections I boldly say with confidence whatever I imposed or taught or teach to people comes out of what I really learnt and do or practice in my daily life. I always try to find practical solutions out of it. It is my step to increase the level of morals on people and I really know

There are no 100 % Perfectionist but above 60% is always a distinction, Isn't it?

Who is the Traitor and Who is the Exploiter?

I cannot forget these words as it was from my very best friend who mistook me for a case of not returning his Rs. 3500/- Ten years before. For every thing he will be there for me that days. It was 14 years friendship. I was helpless because I was not a good earning member that time. But my vague faith on him didn't helped to discover some inner problems he had with me because of this. It was that which made me left stranded on the streets by my friends at a time when I haven't studied anything about life at all. I was in my early twenties that time.  I had only 300 bucks with me, alongside with me my life partner and my belongings. Don't know where to go and what to do? I was on the quest to find a way to expose my talents. I was seeking hardly for some opportunities. Finally nobody to help and my best friend even left me. I didn't had a friend in need.

Years rolled on. Life's hard lessons are not easy to digest. Somebody must look through it or at least should say about it. It was the work I undertook in my lecturer days. I know very well the road is not always going to be clear. So I talked to them about these things because I was fond of them. I pictured them what is exactly going to be life. Youngsters actually hate advice. They have used the power of social media to the level of hell to comment about me badly and to deal in immoral activities to put me, my hard earned money and my hard earned reputation down.

Even in these days I was still longing for a good opportunity to expose myself. But once for all the deeds of the people whom I taught have left me stranded once again in streets. This time the loss is huge which I don't know I can be able to recover. The money belonged to many hard earners including my Mother who said her EMI for the loan will not end up to she gets retired. But the people with their immaturity they closed everything. They brainwashed my team. They brainwashed a loyal friend of mine I had then and there. And also I had one similar to Judas Iscariot with me. But everything is lost at last including my Dreams and Ambitions. Nobody was there to believe me. I was cornered and helpless.

Now recently I got a comment for a post in this blog from one of my student. The same old range of comments but this time in a humble manner. To be clear this particular person have his parents in Gulf Country earning more and he is even spared to buy a CANON EOS 5D camera which costs more than 60,000 bucks because he or his family is well settled. Not to bother about money.  

I used to dream of buying something like that six years before but the low middle class stage of family inhibited me from doing so. Still I have it in dreams only. Also I have to take care of my own family and its daily food expenses even. Now the loss incurred because of their amateur comments and actions is huge without even a single way to compensate. I have to spend my entire life or somebody like my mother have to spare her entire salary up to her retirement to rebuild it.

Now who is the traitor and who is the exploiter? 


Who or What gives this courage to people like this. Is it because of the wealth or materialistic power they have with them because of their parents. Or a personality without basic Morality. Who is going to take the responsibility of these ill deeds. I know No one will be there as many who did such deeds have more money power, more place for enjoying girls, dance and booze.

In Malayalam I use to call them as "Samskaram illaathha Parishkarigal"

I remember a word my HOD says to students "Exploit your faculties". Being exploited by my friends, exploited by my relations, exploited by my co-workers, exploited by my students...Guyzz I got Exploited too much. Enough of it. Never make me to exploit all of you. I have lot to do in this world. No time for foul plays. Concentrate on your self development mainly in all moral aspects beyond technical aspects. Everyone will reap for what they have sowed. That is the silly cosmic rule.